Snowfall
by NightWhisper184
Summary: When she awakens, Miyuki discovers that even in the midst of change and trials, some people are constant. [Implied one-sided Miyuki/Tenzen] [Set after Ring of Sky]
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

"What a fine day for _shakuhachi_ playing," the elder remarks as he settles on the ground in the Zen garden's heart.

Humming contentedly, he reaches a hand into his robe and digs out his flute. Soon melancholy, soulful melodies weave through the air to join with the cricket song and nearby lapping water. Slowly the man's eyes slide closed, his ki becoming one with the Void. Chest rising and falling rhythmically, he begins swaying in time with the tune.

Every day it is easier to slip away in _suizen_, and each day it is harder to constrict his free-floating thoughts to his body again. As he once told Jack, the mountains are not kind to the elderly. His spirit, his _ki_, longs to return to the Void from whence it came and leave behind the ailing shell the others call a body. There remains, however, a task for him, a last obligation and responsibility.

While Jack-kun did much to restore the elder's honor, Dragon Eye's influence reaches beyond the grave. Another life hangs in the balance because of him and those he incited to evil deeds.

A weary sigh disrupts the man's breathing, and the shriek of air cuts off his song.

"The world is ruled by letting things take their course," his late mentor once told him. It has always been a difficult proverb for him to follow. It is his nature to dabble in the lives around him. In his arrogance, he thought he could guide fate better than the gods, and now, the life of one dear to him has been altered far beyond his expectations. Perhaps it is time for him to cease his meddling and let the pieces fall where they may.

_Dare I tempt fate again by letting her have her way so late?_

Despite his reservations (no matter the soul, years does not equate wisdom), he sighs his submission to the gods' will. Perhaps they, with their all-seeing eyes, can right the wrongs he has done to those who trusted him the most.

A beloved _kunoichi_'s face appears before his eyes, but the vision swims as tears slid down his cheeks.

_Miyuki..._ _The clan is not the same without your fierce spirit guarding it._

It is his fault, he knows, despite what others profess. If he had not reached out to Jack, Miyuki's path would not have detoured as it did.

_**Do you presume yourself above the will of the gods, even now?**_

A tremble passes through him. Though this is not the first time he has felt a whisper in his heart, no mortal can bear the burden of their voices too long without bowing beneath their weight.

Directing a submissive bow from the waist to the heavens, the elder brings his flute back to his lips and begins to play once more, his troubled heart smoothed at the edges.


	2. Silent Struggles

**1**

_There is so much understanding in his smile. Her chest constricts painfully when he turns it on her._

_Why is he here? Why is he taunting her so?_

"_You have to wake up," he whispers into her ear. The warmth from his breath tickles her cheek, and she fights to keep an impassive face._

_When he moves closer, that strange light in his eyes, she squirms away like a coward. "I don't want to wake up. I don't want you to leave again."_

_Admitting it is terribly hard, but he already knows._

"_I'll never leave you," he replies softly, taking her hands in his. "I'll always be with you. Please wake up."_

_The edges of his body begin to fade. Contrary to his words, he is leaving her. She knows this, and nothing he says can convince her otherwise. When she opens her eyes, he will not be there. This is why she refuses to wake up: only here does she see him._

"_Wake up..."_

"_No! Don't go!" she cries as she reaches for him. Her hands grasp nothing but air._

"_Wake...up..."_

_Once more, she is alone._

* * *

><p><em>This time, instead of letting him come close and then vanish, she ignores him. It hurts less when he leaves if she does not see him as he goes.<em>

"_You're very stubborn," he chuckles from his perch in the tree above her. It is a familiar tree, and tears blur her vision as she remembers how her village burned that day. His legs swing back and forth beside her head._

"_Even more so now than before. What's wrong?" he inquires, bending down to whisper in her ear. Concern masks the impatience growing in his voice._

_Fingers curling, she grits her teeth and resolutely trains her eyes on the stream. Currents ripple unseen underneath the calm surface. The image sits uneasily in her heart, and she knows it is meant to represent her conflicting thoughts. Every now and then, a fish leaps out of the waters. It seems to stare into her eyes, urging her to do what is right, before dipping back down gracefully. The fish enters the water without disturbing the surface._

I will not falter_, she intones silently. _I will not give in. I will not falter. I will not give in.

_His disappointed sigh echoes in her ears long after he has left._

* * *

><p>"<em>You can't keep this up forever."<em>

Emptiness... One with the Void... Clear your mind... Let nothing infiltrate your defenses...

"_I know you can hear me. This is childish. Just look at me! You are worse than even Ha—"_

"_Enough!" Her cry splits the air. Like daggers her dark eyes stare across the wheat stalks at his tanned, foreigner's face that disguises his ninja heart. "Stop it! Stop. I will not wake, so just stop it. I can't lose you again. This shadow world is all I have left of you. Why must I let go of the last thing I care about?"_

_The smile on his face slips. "You still have something to hold onto. You have to search for it! Find it! Once you have it, never let it go! I am a memory, nothing more." Ignoring her startled protests, he surges forward and grabs her shoulders, staring into her eyes avidly. "Go! Search for that which your heart yearns for. It is out there, waiting for you. Do not let the past steal your future."_

_A fog slowly creeps over the wheat field, entangling their legs. The haze distorts his body's outline, and she turns her head away wearily._

I will not falter. I will not give in. I will not falter... But oh, how weary I grow of this game.

* * *

><p>"<em>So you ignore me because you don't want to lose me? Kind of self-defeating, if you ask me."<em>

"_I did not ask you."_

_He resists the urge to roll his eyes at her. With a sigh, he eases down on the ground beside her. Absently he picks a blade of grass and begins methodically shredding it. Their knees are touching, and he can feel the subtle tensing of her muscles as she leans back._

"_I miss this place," he mummers. "It was so peaceful here."_

_A wordless hum of agreement is her only reply. Slowly her eyes close, and she rests her head against the temple wall. Her heart beats wildly in her chest at his nearness. Every day—or what seem to be days in this strange, shadowed place—he comes closer, stays longer. Though she knows the implications of that, she cannot bring herself to object._

"_You don't deserve to die like this."_

_Startled, she turns toward him questioningly, meeting his gaze for the first time in days._

_He shakes his head before continuing quietly, "You still have so much waiting for you outside of this dream world. If you would just open your eyes, you would see what I see. They need you, Miyuki. Much more than I ever did. Please forgive me for this."_

_Barring her teeth angrily, she begins to reply, but before she can make a sound, everything fades away._


	3. Rising

**2**

Ungh," she groans, twisting her head as the dull ache in her bones explodes into tiny arrows piercing her skin.

A thump and half-muffled _oomph!_ echoes in her ears. "Miyuki? Y-You're awake!"

Slowly, wincing at the sudden invasion of light and sound, the young ninja cracks her eyes into slits. A body's blurry outline looms in her vision, and she furrows her brow as it scoots closer.

There is so much hope, that disgusting lie, in her chest that she aches, hating herself for daring to dream. Nevertheless, his name slips from her lips like water from an overturned pot. It leaks into the air, where it dangles, as if from a cliff, and waits for him to reach down a hand.

The figure withdraws a few feet. "No. It is only I. Sorry to disappoint."

She is too weary to distinguish the conflicting signals in his dry reply. Instead, she allows her tongue to fly without bothering to ask her mind what is best.

"If I knew your ugly face would be the one to greet me, I might have kept my eyes closed. Why must you always be the one to draw me from pleasant dreams? Do you _want_ me to use you in my _shuriken_ target practice?"

It is easier to play along than to acknowledge the hurt coiled in his chest. "Oh, like you could hit a tree in your condition—not that you could even when you were well, _hetakuso_." Shining eyes betray his rude words.

"Says the _noroma_ I beat in last year's assessment."

He makes a face. "Bah! I let you win. Besides, being faster doesn't make you a better ninja. I still did better in the _shuriken_ competition. And you still can't do the 'five blades in one breath' without slicing your thumb!"

"Careful, or next time I might accidentally slice your throat instead of my thumb."

It is difficult for him to restrain a grin, but he manages after watching her eyes narrow, daring him to contradict her. "I see your tongue is as sharp a knife as ever," he says instead, "despite its recent rest. It still kills without drawing blood."

Disuse (and something else, something that feels too much like affection) makes her throat tight. Swallowing is impossible. She croaks, "Drink," and forsakes the banter, though she feels a pang as it slides back to their childhood where it belongs.

Seeing the pain creep over her features, he hurriedly begins pouring _sencha_ into the teacup he had brought for himself. "Here. Careful now, small sips."

When it becomes clear that she is too weak to sit up on her own, he slips an arm around her shoulders in aid. The contact startles her, and he feels her stiffen against him.

"Easy," he soothes, "You'll choke on your own."

Understanding smoothes the frown from her forehead. Gradually she relaxes into his half-embrace.

Ever since samurai murdered her family, his family has taken care of her, none more so than him. In many ways, he is like a brother to her, though sometimes he surprises her by stepping out of his brotherly duties—like now.

His gaze is too gentle for a brother. It frightens her.

Taking a sip of her tea, she nods appreciatively. "Thank you. It tastes wonderful. When did you become so adept at making tea?"

A familiar sly smile curves his lips. "Never. Soke made it. It was my turn watching you, so he made me some _sencha_ to keep me awake." Though his voice is light, worry clouds his eyes.

Miyuki lays a hand on his free arm. Judging by her stiffness and the pain radiating through her body, she has been lying on the _futon_ for quite some time. "How long was I unconscious?"

Immediately he lowers his gaze. Suspicion fills Miyuki as she narrows her eyes at him. "Tenzen, how long have I been unconscious? What happened to me? Where is Jack?"

Her misgivings quickly turn to horror as her memory returns at the mention of Jack.

There had been a fight...many Samurai...they had stumbled into a trap...and Jack...Jack had to be kept safe...

"_Get out of here," she commands him. "Save yourself while you still can."_

_Blood pumps through her veins like liquid fire. Whatever the cost, she will make sure Jack is safe. She owes him that._

"_No, I won't leave you behind," Jack replies, rattling the gate furiously._

_It makes her smile, the concern he has for her. Though it makes no difference now, at least she knows he cares for her, even if it took her imminent death for him to show it so blatantly._

"_You don't have any other choice." Beating down the sorrow inside, she continues, "I always knew what sacrifice I might have to make for you, Jack. And I do so with all my heart."_

_The ninja touches Jack's hand, trying to convey what words cannot. It is all she can do to turn away from him. Even then, his gaze still follows her beseechingly._

_The samurai girl tries to draw him away from the gate; he shakes off her hands._

_The first ronin edges forward, his _katana_ held high. Miyuki narrows her eyes, settling into the familiar stance. Time is all she needs to give them—time to get away. Her own life does not matter, for she has long since forfeited it for him. This time there will be no escape._

_Behind her, Jack cries out, shaking the bamboo bars with all his might._

_The sound makes her stomach tighten, and she shoves away the feelings. To her relief, the others finally succeed in dragging him away to safety. Silence, save for the scuffling of feet, settles over the alley._

_Drawing her _ninjatō, _Miyuki_ _sidesteps the first _ronin_'s thrust, executing a flawless Finger Needle Fist attack with her free hand as he stumbles past. The samurai falls back with a cry of pain, clutching his eyes._

_Another _ronin_ circles behind her. Spinning around, she flicks out her hand and releases the _shuriken_ hidden inside her sleeve. Two hit him in the chest, his _katajinu_ protecting him from deep penetration, while the other whizzes harmlessly past him._

Fudoshin_, unshakable calm, will be her only savior. To win this battle, she needs to clear her mind of all fears and become one with the Void. However, Jack's face stubbornly appears in her mind._

_The distraction allows a samurai to slice her leg with his _wakizashi_. She hisses in pain, retreating towards the wall with her _ninjatō _held out as the only barrier between her and her assailants._

_Though the Ring of Sky's power is great, not even it cannot bring her back from the dead. She must concentrate._

_The _shuriken_ Miyuki has stashed in her _obi_ quickly runs out, forcing her to rely on close combat. She coolly slashes a ronin across the chest, _ten-uchi_ style. No matter how many she kills, five more seem to rise up in their place._

_Too many, her brain declares impassively. In response, her vision swims._

_This is it. This is the end. Oh, why had she not told Jack when she had the chance? Now, he will never know._

_In her mind, she again pictures his smiling face and startlingly blue eyes alight with mischief. Life had been so peaceful in the village. Why do so many good things in her life have to end? Her lapse in concentration costs her dearly._

_The tip of a _katana _slips through her defenses and punctures her shoulder. A moan explodes from her parted lips as another sword plunges into her side._

"_I'm sorry, Jack," the ninja whispers, sinking to the ground. Blackness sweeps over her eyes._

"Ah, Miyuki. I see you have awoken."

Effectively jerked out of her thoughts, Miyuki glances up to see Soke leaning on his cane in the doorway.

"Grandmaster!" she gasps. Her heart beats painfully in her chest as she struggles to stand; her healing wounds strain against their bindings.

"Easy, my child, easy," Soke gently admonishes. "You have yet to regain your full strength."

Beside her, Tenzen murmurs his agreement. "You'll hurt yourself even more if you exert yourself now. Rest, Miyuki. Have patience in your healing."

His hands are warm against her back as he helps her lay back down on the _futon_. Then, at a nod from the Grandmaster, he reluctantly rises and slips out the door. However, as he goes, he shoots an anxious glance over his shoulder at Miyuki's prone form.

Once the boy leaves, Soke hobbles to Miyuki's side. There, he kneels, tucking his feet underneath his woolen robe gracefully. His staff he lays beside him.

Miyuki turns on her side to face him. "Soke, what happened after the samurai cornered me in the alley? Are Jack and the others safe?" At Jack's name, her features flicker.

A frown spreads across the elder's face. "When I noticed your absence, I sent Zenjubo after you. It is well I did, or else your fate would have been very different."

"Yes, yes," she replied impatiently, "I thank you for your foresight, but what about _Jack_? Is he alive? What about Yori? Saburo? Benkei and Akiko?" The breathlessness in her voice disgusts Miyuki. It is a sign of weakness when she is not weak.

As if mocking her, a shaft of pain shoots through her side.

"They are all well, though they were nearly burned at the stake by a young man who seemed to dislike Jack very much. A tropical storm blew up just in time to save them, so fear not."

Familiar humor leaps from his tongue, and Miyuki fights to suppress a smirk. Once again, Jack was saved by his ninja brethren. How disgruntled that must have made the Samurai girl, to know that if not for the Ring of Sky, she would be dead.

The Grandmaster's voice turns serious one more. "The Shogun has passed. The Council has come forward and appointed _daimyo_ Takatomi as Regent of Japan until Hidetada comes of age. The _daimyo_ is a sympathizer of Jack's and a friend to Masamoto Takeshi, Jack's guardian. Rest assured, he is safe now. Zenjubo stayed long enough to see him off on a Dutch ship bound for England."

"And the others? Where are they now?"

"The boy monk and Akiko, Hanzo's sister, boarded the ship with Jack. The child, Benkei they called him, joined a traveling _geisha_ troupe, while the young samurai boy went home with Masamoto," Soke reassures her.

"They...they left?" _Without seeking me? Without telling me? _Miyuki blinks rapidly, trying to stem the burning in her eyes. _No, I won't cry! Not again. Not _ever_ again._

Soke feels the questions burning in her heart, the sorrow and disbelief overwhelming her judgment. Though he is reluctant to rouse her, for her injuries have yet to heal, the Grandmaster knows he can keep the truth from her no longer.

"Rest your mind, child. Zenjubo told Jack what he needed to hear."

The affection with which he speaks comforts Miyuki. For a brief moment, she has her father back and he is gazing down at her with love and laughter dancing in his eyes as he did before those accursed samurai came. Then the full meaning of what he said strikes her, and the tenderness in her heart flees.

"Just what did Jack need to hear?"

Miyuki's voice is as cutting as a _ninjatō _and as cold as the snow for which she was named. Placing a calming hand on her shoulder, Soke shakes his head.

_Oh, Miyuki. The heart you gave too soon weighs you down; you are not as you once were. Even so, as the night gives way to the day, so too shall your mourning turn to joy. You are a strong one. In time, you will become whole again._

"Zenjubo told Jack you fought off ten samurai warriors before succumbing to your wounds. He also mentioned you having received an honorable death, but it had to be done. A wise man once said, 'There are many paths but only one journey.' Have faith, child. Your path may yet converge with Jack's again."

"He thinks me dead," she restates numbly.

Soke shakes his head in disappointment as he realizes nothing he says will dissuade Miyuki from her chosen journey. In time, she will come to see the wisdom he is attempting to give her. For now, however, her heart is too heavy.

Holding her tongue from further questions for the moment, Miyuki stares at the ceiling above her head.

The Ring of Sky holds healing for those who trust in it, though none for her of late. For too long Miyuki has skirted death and it now comes back to haunt her. Old wounds, of both the body and heart, stir to life as she falters.

If Jack thinks her dead, then why did he not stay behind to see to her burial as he had for Hayato? Does she not deserve the same honor as his samurai friend? Japan was made safe for him again, and he had no reason to fear death or imprisonment. Yet he gave no thought for her burial, the proper rights offered even to enemies.

A new thought blossoms. _Maybe he was merely anxious to set sail for his homeland_. _He often talked of the sister he was forced to leave behind. Perhaps she is waiting for him still._

_**It's no excuse. He abandoned you**_, a voice inside her declares ruthlessly. _**This proves he is not one of the Shinobi. We do not leave our brothers until there is no hope—even then, our heart weeps.**_

_Enough! _she interrupts the train of thought sharply. _Jack was—_is_—ninja. I know his heart, and I know he had his reasons for not seeking me. Whatever they were, I accept them. _She tightened her jaw. _I _must_ accept them._

"Yes, child," Soke admits. "He thinks you are lost to him."

Despising how unruffled the older ninja appears, Miyuki hisses out more questions, as it is time for her to learn all the answers.

"Why did Zenjubo lie? Did Jack not come see my body for himself? Did he not think for one moment that I might be alive?"

Anger, hiding the sting of imagined betrayal, rises within her once more. Her pride demands an explanation, for is she not a good enough warrior to survive a mere thirteen samurai? Those men were weak and poorly trained for battle against a seasoned ninja. Jack should have known this, should have known _her_. Did he doubt her abilities? Or had he simply deduced it was too risky to go back for her in any case? Both possibilities cut at her like knives.

"Steady, Miyuki. Zenjubo did only what I requested of him," admonishes Soke. "Jack needed to seek himself before he could ever seek another. If he knew you were alive, do you suppose he would've had the heart to leave you as injured as you are? No, child. You must have faith that Jack is where he belongs. And now, so are you."

"You think I would have gone with him. Don't deny it, for I read it in your eyes. No matter the love I have for our brother, this is my home. I am ninja."

"Then rest, young ninja. Take heart in the knowledge that you will remain in Jack's thoughts wherever he goes; Zenjubo took the liberty of giving him one of your _shuriken_ to remind him of you." His expression softens. "Do not dishonor Jack's love by remaining angry, child. You must regain your strength so that when he returns, you will be ready to welcome him with _ninniku_—a pure heart, unburdened by anger or sorrow."

"Yes, _sensei_," Miyuki promises, lowering her eyes to hide the simmering hurt.

"Please, Miyuki-chan."

The strain in Soke's voice frightens her. Sighing in resignation, the young ninja spreads her better arm across her stomach in place of a bow.

Never before has she felt so ashamed to lie on a _futon_. She does not have the strength to even sit up and bow to the Grandmaster. Her weakness is a disgrace.

"Yes, Soke-san."

Relief relaxes his grip on his cane. "Good. Tenzen," he adds, raising his voice to carry outside, "you may as well come in. You already heard that which you should not have. It will do no harm to join us now—though, if Miyuki's expression is any indication, you may not come away unscathed."

Tenzen's startled curse is audible to Miyuki, and a genuine, though weakened, smile spreads across her face.

_Everything has changed—and yet, some things never will_.


End file.
